Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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