I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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