So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
