you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize