We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
