she was so not down for the gang bang
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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