i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
