Sry I called you an 8
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
