I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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