I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
