My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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