If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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