Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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