I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
