so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
