Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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