I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm like, not good at living.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
