i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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