dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
