I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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