You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
