Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
