dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
