How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
