is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
