my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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