No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
