I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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