Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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