Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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