Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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