I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your cock deserves a montage
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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