Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
