You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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