Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
