There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
