i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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