i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize