there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
