Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wish there were birth control emojis
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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