Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Dual....:-)

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(517): View more from Michigan

I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up

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(678): View more from Georgia

Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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(785): View more from Kansas

you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it

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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(816): View more from Missouri

apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.

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(561): View more from Florida

She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was

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