I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
