you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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