no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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