if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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