Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
