Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
