but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
