made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
