I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
tell me about the fingering
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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