I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
