I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
