if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
