FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
