It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is Oprah even human
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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