i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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