She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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