Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
