So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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